Chasunah / Sheva Brokhos Customs

Painting by Ahron Yakobson

From “Breslov Eikh she-Hu: Breslov the Way It is, Customs and Practices, Past and Present”

Compiled by Dovid Zeitlin and Dovid Sears (work-in-progress). Special thanks to Yehuda Leib Sears for contacting Rabbi Ephraim Kenig in Tsfas about these issues.

Posted in honor of the wedding of Gershom and Sara Sheina Stubbs, with warm wishes of “mazal tov” from the Breslov Center.

Chasunah / Wedding

Reb Gedaliah Kenig did not “evaluate” shidduchim by considering the gematriyos of the names of the chassan and kallah, nor did he approve of this practice.

(Heard from Rabbi Shmuel Moshe Kramer)

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On announcements and invitations for weddings and all simchahs, the Polish Breslover Chassidim made a point of referring to the Breslov shul with the phrase “be-beis ha-midrash nikra al shemo” or “nikra al shem Rabbenu zal.” This remains customary in the Bnei Brak community, which was founded by Polish Breslovers.

(Heard from Rabbi Meir Wasilski)

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Editor: This expression echoes the words of Reb Avraham Sternhartz in a letter (summer 1930) to the Breslover Chassidim in Poland, which among other things stresses the inyan of davenning on Rosh Hashanah in a “beis ha-midrash nikra al shem ha-tzaddik.” This is actually a paraphrase of Reb Noson's words in Likkutei Halakhos, Betziyas ha-Pas 5:17, and elsewhere. Further research is needed to determine at what point this expression began to be used on announcements and wedding invitations, etc., by the Polish Breslovers. (This letter is printed in Rabbi Noson Zvi Kenig’s Nachaley Emunah)

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The Rebbe darshans on various wedding customs that were popular in his day and locale. These included the chassan dressing in a kittel, as is still common today; the guests throwing baked goods at the chassan; the chassan giving a droshah, or scholarly discourse, and the guests interrupting the discourse, as is still customary; giving coins to the dancers (this money being called “Shabbos gelt”); the dancers raising themselves up and down; and doing somersaults in front of the chassan, which is still customary.

(See Sichos ha-Ran 86, translated and linked to the sidebar of this website)

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An obsolete minhag in the Breslov community is that of the “chasan mol,” a gathering on the night prior to the wedding during which the chassan and kallah dance, and all the guests sing and celebrate in anticipation of the coming simchah. (I’m told that both the Rebbe and Reb Noson mention it, although I have not locate those sources.)

(Heard from Rabbi Nachman Burshteyn)

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Those who criticized this minhag made a word play between “knas mol” (“penalty-time”) and “chassan mol” (“groom-time”).

(Heard from Rabbi Nachman Burshteyn)

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Kesubah: Reb Elazar Kenig, who has often served as a mesader kiddushin, prefers to use Rav Shmuel Wosner's text of the kesubah. He also consults Rav Shmuel Eliezer Stern's Kesubah Kehilkhasa, and Nachalas Shirah (written by talmid of the TAZ).

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It has become a common custom to sing the Rebbe's Deveykus Niggun for the chuppah niggun. This melody, introduced to Jerusalem's Breslov community by Reb Avraham Sternhartz during the late 1930s, is sometimes called "Yeridos vi-Aliyos." It had been preserved by the Breslover Chassidim in Tcherin, from whom Reb Avraham learned it during his youth. This melody is usually sung at the chuppah in Tzefas. Another powerful melody attributed to the Rebbe, which is also a popular chuppah niggun, is the two-part composition also sung for "Yechadsheihu" during Rosh Chodesh bentchen. This melody is more often sung at Breslover weddings in Yerushalayim.

(An instrumental version of the Rebbe's Deveykus Niggun performed by the Andy Statman Quartet may be heard on the Listen page of this website. Rabbi Yaakov Klein sings another version of "Yechadsheihu" on the same page; however, this is not the melody attributed to the Rebbe mentioned above.)

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The chassan and kallah both dress in white. However, the Yerushalayimer minhag is that aside from the kittel or white caftan, the chassan wears a black suit (rekel), with the jacket draped over his shoulders. He dresses similarly on Yom Kippur, because these two days are compared to one another.

(Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Kenig)

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It is an old custom in Yerushalayim and elsewhere, which is also observed by the Tzefas community, for the chassan to hold the hand of the kallah when the newly-married couple leaves the chuppah (unless it is a chuppas niddah). The couple also holds hands when they leave the wedding hall to return home.

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Reb Gedaliah told his family members and talmidim that under the chuppah, the chassan stands to the left and the kallah to his right. However, beginning on the day after the wedding, the wife always stands or sits to his left, and her husband to the right. This reflects kabbalistic principles.

(Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Kenig)

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The Rebbe danced before the kallah at the weddings of his daughters. This widespread Chassidic custom, which has profound mystical meaning, is called the "mitzvah tantz."

(See Chayei Moharan 117)

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The mitzvah tantz is also a Breslover minhag today. After the completion of Birkhas ha-Mazon, there is a mitzvah tantz. The badchan usually invokes the memory of departed relatives and strives to create an emotionally charged atmosphere of kedushah. The kallah dances (or sways) modestly with her father, and then remains more or less stationary, while the grandfathers, uncles, and other close family members dance with her, holding a gartel that she also holds. Then the kallah’s father does the same, holding his daughter’s hands. Finally, the chassan dances with the kallah, holding hands. The common minhag is that at this point, all present sing Eishes Chayil to the familiar tune that the Rebbe, Reb Nachman, used to sing.

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The Rebbe permitted a stepbrother and stepsister to wed. That is, if a man with children from a previous marriage married a woman with children from a previous marriage, those children are allowed to marry one another. Although Rabbi Yehudah he-Chassid, author of Sefer Chassidim, differs on this question, Rabbi Nachman was lenient. This proved to be of major importance in Reb Noson's life. At the height of the persecutions of Breslover Chassidim, Reb Noson sought a shidduch for his son Reb Dovid Zvi from his first wife, who had passed away. However, it was extremely hard for him to find an appropriate shidduch, due to the controversy that surrounded him at that time, and the fact that Reb Dovid Zvi was a hunchback. Therefore, a match was made between Reb Dovid Zvi and Chayah, a daughter of Reb Noson's second wife, Dishel.

(Cf. Alim le-Terufah [Toras Ha-Netzach ed. 2000] 191)

Sheva Berakhos

There is an old minhag among Breslover Chassidim to tell over something from the Rebbe’s Tale of the Seven Beggars at each night of sheva berakhos.

(Heard from Rabbi Ephraim Kenig)