Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Bris Milah / Naming a Daughter / Upsheren / Bar Mitzvah


From “Breslov Eikh She-hu: Breslov the Way It Is
Customs and Practices, Past and Present
By Dovid Zeitlin and Dovid Sears (work-in-progress)


Bris Milah
The Tcheriner Rov darshans on many aspects of bris milah and its related minhagim from a kabbalistic point of view.
(Nachas ha-Shulchan, Yoreh De’ah 260)

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It is a common custom for the father to remain awake on the night prior to his son’s bris. If possible, he should study the portion of the Zohar related to this mitzvah, which may be found in the Siddur ha-Ya’avetz (Rav Yaakov Emden). It is also a Breslover custom for the father to read the entire Sippurey Ma’asiyos, or at least “The Seven Beggars” if there is not enough time.
(Heard from Rabbi Elazar Kenig)

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Reb Gedaliah said in the name of Reb Avraham Sternhartz that the father, sandek, and mohel should immerse in a mikveh prior to Shacharis and the bris. The father should recite Tikkun ha-Klalli before the bris. He should also meditate on the name of the child when the mohel performs the circumcision.

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Rabbi Beirach Rubenson remembered that in Poland, Breslover Chassidim used to recite Tikkun ha-Klalli during a bris, due to the presence of Eliyahu ha-Navi.
(Heard from Rabbi Dovid Shapiro)

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However, Reb Levi Yitzchok Bender stated that this was not the minhag in Uman. (Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh VI, 501)

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Reb Elazar Kenig has instructed his talmidim to give tzedakah prior to the bris in the amount of the gematria of the infant’s name (or names). Thus, for example, if the boy’s name is “Yisrael,” the father should give 541 coins—whether pennies, dimes, or dollars, etc., depending on the father’s income and the currency of the country in which he lives. In addition, one should add 18 coins (gematria “chai”) of any denomination to this amount. (This need not be actual coins, but an equivalent amount, such as $5.41, or even a check for an equivalent amount, such as $54.10.)
(Heard from Rabbi Dovid Zeitlin)

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However, Rabbi Dovid Shapiro recalled that when his twin boys were born, Rabbi Yidel Lichter told him in the name of Reb Gedaliah about the custom of giving the gematria of the names for a “Pidyon Nefesh.” He said nothing about adding 18 coins. So he sent Reb Gedaliah the exact amount for a pidyon. Reb Meir Savitzky was with Reb Gedaliah when the check arrived, and he heard Reb Gedaliah say that it was the exactly right amount.

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When the father names his child, it is good for him to have in mind that in addition to any departed relative, he is naming the child after all of the tzaddikim who had the same name.
(Heard from Rabbi Elazar Kenig)

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Reb Gedaliah felt that there was no impropriety in naming a child after a non-religious relative in order to perpetuate the name in the family. Indeed, if one were to object to this, many holy names would have been lost. Names uniquely associated with the wicked, such as “Avsholom (Absalom)” are not used, but names that are also associated with  tzaddikim are not open to any objection whatever.
(Heard from Rabbi Dovid Shapiro)

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The Rebbe stated that one should be careful to choose a mohel who is a tzaddik and yirei Shomayim.
(Sefer ha-Midos, “Banim” I, 10)

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It is uncertain if one should wear Tefillin when attending a bris. Reb Elazar remembers that his father did so at the bris of his youngest brother. However, when Reb Elazar asked his father about this a few years later, Reb Gedaliah did not give him a clear answer. (There are conflicting views about this inyan among the kabbalists.)

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Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Bender remembered that in Uman the Chassidim used to dance after the conclusion of the bris, before the olam sat down to the se’udas mitzvah.
(Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh IV, 157)

Naming a Daughter
According to a tradition that Reb Levi Yitzchok Bender heard from Rabbi Eizik Eisenstein, the Rebbe once asked rhetorically, “Why do we wait eight days to name a son, and to name a daughter, we do not?” This suggests that one should wait eight days. Nevertheless, the custom of Breslover Chassidim is to announce the name of a daughter on the first Shabbos after her birth.
(Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh IV, 533)

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Reb Gedaliah Kenig heard from his teacher Reb Avraham Sternhartz that we name a daughter only on Shabbos, not during a weekday Torah reading; and if the baby was born on Erev Shabbos, she could be named the next day. In one of his letters, Reb Noson mentions that his daughter Chanah Tzirel had given birth on Erev Shabbos, and the baby was named the next day.
(Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Kenig. Reb Noson’s letter may be found in Alim le-Terufah [Toras Ha-Netzach ed. 2000] 148 [dated: Motza’ei Shabbos Shoftim 5594 / 1834]. The Manistritcher Chassidim in Uman also had the custom of naming a daughter only on Shabbos; see Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Rabinowitz, Ehrkei Yehoshua 283.)

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Rabbi Shmuel Moshe Kramer of Yerushalayim also has stated that one should name a daughter only on Shabbos.
(Heard from Rabbi Nachman Bergstein)

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An exception to this rule is when Rosh Hashanah (or Yom Tov in chutz la-aretz) falls on Erev Shabbos. In this case, one should name the baby on the first day of Yom Tov and not wait for Shabbos.
(Heard from Rabbi Elazar Kenig)

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Rabbi Nachman Bergstein’s wife once gave birth to a daughter when her husband was already in Uman prior to Rosh Hashanah. That year, the first day of Rosh Hashanah fell on Thursday. Reb Nachman asked Rabbi Ephraim Anshin, one of the gabba’im in Me’ah She’arim and in Uman, what to do. Rabbi Anshin referred him to Reb Elazar Kenig, who told him to name the baby on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Rabbi Shmuel Moshe Kramer also agreed with this.
(Heard from Rabbi Nachman Bergstein)

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Reb Elazar has told his talmidim to give tzedakah before naming a daughter in the amount of the gematria of her name (or names). Thus, for example, if the baby’s name is “Miriam,” the father should give 290 coins—whether pennies, dimes, or dollars, etc., depending on one’s income and the currency of the country in which one lives. One should also add 23 coins (gematria “Chayah”) of any denomination to this amount. (As stated previously, this amount need not be in the form of actual coins, but an equivalent amount.)
(Heard from Rabbi Shmuel Rosenberg)

Upsheren/First Haircut

It is a common custom, particularly among Chassidim, not to cut a boy’s hair until his third birthday. This reflects the concept of “Adam eitz ha-sadeh/A man is like a tree of the field” (Devorim 20:19). Just as a tree is considered orlah for the first three years and its fruit may not be harvested, so a boy’s hair should not be cut until his third birthday. In Yiddish, the first haircut is called an “upsheren” or “upsherenish”; in Hebrew, it is called a “chalakah.”  Each guest snips off a small lock of hair, being careful not to cut the peyos. The family and friends then share a se’udas mitzvah.
(This custom is mentioned by Rabbi Chaim Vital, Sha’ar ha-Kavannos, Inyan Sefiras ha-Omer, Drush 12; Pri Eitz Chaim, Sefiras ha-Omer, 7; et al. Also cf. Midrash Tanchuma, Kedoshim, 14.)

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In Eretz Yisrael, many celebrate the upsheren on Lag ba-Omer near the gravesite of the holy Tanna, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai in Meron. However, Reb Gedaliah instructed his talmidim to give the child his first haircut only on the day of Lag ba-Omer, even if they could not come to Meron. He said that if a child already could speak well, his hair could be cut on Lag ba-Omer even a little earlier than his third birthday—but if not, the parents should wait until the next Lag ba-Omer. This seems to reflect the kabbalistic principle that there is a spiritual connection between hair and the power of speech.

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Reb Gedaliah cautioned that one should not cut the child’s hair so closely that he appears to be bald.
(Heard from Rabbi Binyamin Rosenberg in the name of Rabbi Chaim Man)

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Reb Gedaliah encouraged his talmidim to weigh the shorn hair and give the equivalent value in gold to tzedakah. (This is an old minhag, which is not unique to Breslov.)
(Heard from Rabbi Dovid Shapiro)

Bar Mitzvah
The Rebbe encouraged his followers to have their sons begin wearing both the Tefillin of Rashi and Rabbenu Tam on their thirteenth birthday. However, due to the great poverty in the Ukraine and later in Eretz Yisrael, many Breslover families could not afford to buy their bochurim a second pair of Tefillin. Borukh Hashem, things have greatly improved, and today virtually all Breslovers do so.
(Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh II, 29. Rabbi Pinchos of Koretz stated that wearing the Tefillin of Rabbenu Tam is a segulah for cheshek to study pnimiyus ha-Torah; see Imrei Pinchos [Bnei Brak 2003] vol. I, Sha’ar Seder ha-Yom 38.)

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The Rebbe wanted the Bar Mitzvah bochur to put on Tefillin for the first time on the morning of his thirteenth birthday, and not earlier. (If the birthday falls on Shabbos, he should don Tefillin on Sunday, not on Erev Shabbos.)
(Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh II, 30)

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Upon reaching the age of Bar Mitzvah, it is customary for a Chassidisher bochur to start wearing a hat, jacket, and gartel when davenning. This is the minhag in Breslov, too.

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Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Bender stated that in Uman, it was customary for the Bar Mitzvah bochur to deliver a Torah lesson from Likutey Moharan at the se’udas bar mitzvah, together with explanations from a related portion of Likutey Halakhos.
(Si’ach Sarfey Kodesh IV, 173)

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However, this minhag seems to have fallen into disuse today. In most Breslover communities in Eretz Yisrael, the bar mitzvah bochur says a d’var Torah on a subject in nigleh, and if his teacher is a Breslover, the teacher may quote the Rebbe or Reb Noson in the course of his speech. (This may be because until recent years, most Breslover bochurim learned in non-Breslov yeshivos.) 
(Heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Kenig)

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